<![CDATA[Law Office of Artie Byrd Jr. <br />CALL (901) 848 - 2549 - Blog]]>Sun, 19 Oct 2025 06:43:44 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Vote NCAA Champion]]>Mon, 07 Apr 2014 20:24:45 GMThttp://www.familylegalcounseling.com/blog/vote-ncaa-champion
]]><![CDATA[An Exit Strategy for the War on Women]]>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:24:27 GMThttp://www.familylegalcounseling.com/blog/an-exit-strategy-for-the-war-on-womenEquality, defined by Merriam Webster as the “state or quality of being equal”, “as great as”, “the same as”.  The fight, for oneself, one’s family, team, gender, race, or any other defining element, has always been and likely will always be a great motivator for the individual, and great rallying cry for the whole.  Equality of the individual is a foundation in America’s civil rights framework and a constant in America’s mission.  

And so our great country recognizes the right of humanity to exercise its civil freedoms so long as the exercise of those freedoms does not infringe on the rights of others.

With the passing and implementation of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the US is suddenly at a very exciting (relative to the individual’s definition of the term) and contentious time in defining just how far our “civil rights” extend, and just exactly what it means to infringe on the rights of others.

The Act (as you know by now if you’re one of the seven readers of my articles) forces most employers to fully cover the cost of contraception and abortifacients for its employees…no co-pays, no deductibles, nothing out of pocket to the employee. 

As the argument goes, women’s rights groups are fully in favor of the mandate, as the use of contraception is a woman’s right.  Religious employers and organizations are fully against the mandate, as it forces them to pay for the use of a drug that it has morally opposed since its creation.

Who’s right?  Both of them, naturally.  American women have a right to contraception.  And every citizen has the right to the free exercise of their religion.  The real issue, however, is what are we really arguing about?    

From the women’s rights perspective, this is what Americans United Executive Director Barry Lynn had to say.  “No corporation should ever be able to tell its employees that they can’t have access to contraceptive coverage simply because it offends the boss’ religious preference.” 

http://www.abpnews.com/culture/politics/item/8347-au-defends-birth-control-mandate

ProchoiceAmerica.org backs their stance by stating that “No one is being asked to prescribe or take birth control.  Those who [oppose the mandate] are free to continue opposing contraception.”

http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/get-involved/issue-campaigns/bc4me-learn-more.html

And Prospect.org, in an article about 2012’s “war on women” states that after the passing of the Affordable Care Act “conservatives began shouting about ‘religious freedom’ – as if the U.S. government and insurance companies had an obligation to enforce the Catholic Church’s beliefs on its secular employees.”

http://prospect.org/article/2012s-war-women

From my perspective, and presumably from the perspective of most reasonable adults, all of the above quotes are factually, 100% accurate.  But again, what’s really being argued about?  Whose “rights” are imposing on the rights of the other?

Mr. Lynn should be told, before this becomes the Equality Rally Cry for his team, that no one has requested that employers be able to cut off access to contraceptive coverage.  Believe it or not women used contraception before the Affordable Care Act, and will continue to do so whether their religious bosses pay for it or not.  I can’t take credit for the analogy, but just because your boss won’t pay for your car insurance doesn’t mean you’re being denied access to it.

In an attempt to advance the inference that no one’s rights are being violated, Pro-Choice America correctly points out that no one is being asked to prescribe or take birth control.  Pro-Choice America also points out, that so long as you buy it for us, you’re free to oppose the drug verbally.  Somewhat akin to a giant secular middle finger.  (And regardless of your own personal view, can’t we all agree that there’s humorous irony in an organization, that calls themselves Pro-Choice America, feverishly backing a mandate that gives Americans No Choice?  What would they say if the Government Mandated Abstinence Education?)  http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/media/fact-sheets/sex-education-abstinence-only-programs.pdf )

And finally, Prospect.org chimed in with their own highly accurate, highly irrelevant, statement on the issues.  The U.S. Government does not have an obligation (or right) to enforce the Church’s beliefs on its employees.  Nor does the U.S. have the obligation (or right) to force someone to violate their religion just so someone can save $30.00 per month in co-pays.

So what are we really arguing about?  We’re arguing about whether women have a right to have their contraception spoon fed.  Because no one in this argument is trying to take it away…they’re just saying go get it yourself.  The audacity. 

To naysayers this will be seen to be sexist, chauvinistic, and disrespectful, because if a man doesn’t support everything termed to be a Woman’s Right then he’s an un-chivalrous bigot.  Getting prescriptions paid for isn’t exactly on par with women’s suffrage.    

And if you think this line of thinking is oppressive, then how far do women’s rights go?

Abortion as a means of birth control?  http://www.lifenews.com/2013/04/01/pro-choice-blog-supports-abortion-as-method-of-birth-control/

Infanticide if you don’t like the “product” within 48 hours of birth? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infanticide#Modern_proposals

Child Euthanasia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_euthanasia  

Recently in Florida, Planned Parenthood publicly lobbied for allowing a baby born alive after a botched abortion to be killed at the Mother’s choosing.  Doesn’t exactly lend to the proposition of Equality for all of humanity (although to be fair it definitely creates a monster of a woman’s right).

So before we litigate the issues brought up by American’s United and other women’s rights groups…let’s make sure someone is trying to take a right from women in the first place.

And before more troops are deployed to this battle of the "War on Women", a peaceful exit strategy may be to stop creating an imaginary battlefield. 

]]><![CDATA[October 12th, 2012]]>Fri, 12 Oct 2012 18:45:44 GMThttp://www.familylegalcounseling.com/blog/october-12th-2012Accountability vs Infallibility; And The Reason You Will Never Change
(Or Your Spouse/Boss/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Snooty Neighbor Will Never Change if That Entices You to Read the Article)

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.”
― Thomas  Paine


The title and message of this article is something I admittedly struggle with on a daily basis, as I assume most if not
all people do.  It is not a claim to be “holier than thou”.  So if you read it and the thought crosses your mind, “man this guy’s a jackass, who is he to question my actions or intentions”, that’s about the same time you should
grab a mirror, look deep into the eyes of the person staring back at you and ask, “when was the last time you questioned my actions or intentions?” And if you’re the person that reads it and says “this is a cute article, but most certainly not directed at me”, then you’re the bigger part of the problem.


 Don’t worry, it’s not a post about sports, or politics, or your spouse…it’s a post about you.  But allow me to briefly share where all of this started in my mind.  A week ago the Cardinals beat the Braves in a playoff baseball game, a controversial call by an umpire went the Cardinals way and Braves fans spent 20 minutes throwing beer bottles onto the field, at the umpires and Cardinals players.  When questioned about the appropriateness of their actions, Braves fans in attendance responded with “Yeah it was wrong to do BUT, what were we supposed to do?  What would you have done?  It was a huge call in the biggest game of the year?” 
Well when you put it that way…good move.


Fast forward to a football game in Kansas City on Sunday  when the quarterback was knocked out by a hit and laid on the field unconscious, and  the Kansas City fans cheered the injury because their team is having a bad year and maybe a different quarterback will solve all their problems.  When it was stated that this was a man’s life and health and maybe, just maybe, it’s wrong to cheer for pain and suffering, a Kansas City fan in attendance responded “I make no apology for cheering the injury.  I pay money to see these sporting events.  I pay to see MMA fighters get their face kicked in, I pay to see cars flip and crash at a NASCAR race, and I pay to see the big hit in football.” 
Sound reasoning if we were in the Early Middle Ages…or in the movie Running Man.


Justification and validation for our wrongs has become a tenet of modern day America. 
We’ve lost the desire, skill, and often times even the ability to hold ourselves accountable for anything.  “I’m sorry”,“I was wrong”, “I should’ve handled that differently”, “That was my fault”, and“I’m a hypocrite”,
among others, are blasphemous phrases in our No-One-Is-Perfect-But-I’m-Never-The-One-To-Take-All-The-Blame society.  Oh people still say those phrases, as long as the same breath allows them to utter the caveats. 
I’m sorry but (insert what someone else did, or the stress you were under, or the drugs you were on, or the change in weather) is the apology of current generations.  I’m sorry you felt that way.  I’m sorry you were offended.


As a side note, in the event you read this and it turns out that you are in fact that infallible person, please call me immediately at (901) 848-2549, I’d like to buy you dinner. Or you can e-mail me (aabyrdjr@gmail.com).  Or stop by (155 N. Main St. Ste. 101A, Collierville, TN  38017).


Again, if you’re still reading, you’re not exempt.  If you stopped reading because you were the one who called me a jackass in the opening paragraph, best of luck to you…and your children…relationships…job.  
This is not a racial problem, a generational problem, a gender problem.  This is a societal problem. 
Jump off your political bandwagon for a second and think about it.  Every time our President is questioned
on any failed agenda, the response is “This is what I inherited from someone else.”  A husband cheats on his
wife, and husband’s mother asks wife, “What did you do to drive him to this?”  


Our agendas fail, our attempts fail, our relationships fail, and all we ever say to the next person who will listen is, “Can you believe what someone else did to me?  The spot they put me in?”  We have an amazing ability as a society to take the exact same situation, the first time happening to us and the second time us being the cause, and never be in the wrong.  
Why? 
Because we’re fragile.  Our self-images are fragile.  Our self-confidence is fragile.  Our legacy is fragile.  Our outward image is incredibly fragile.  And we certainly can’t lose our competitive edge, or the upper hand, or our now perfected role as the victim.  


So what?  Right? What’s wrong with protecting our egos, making ourselves look better to others at all costs, not letting ourselves feel bad for our actions?  It’s in the past right, shouldn’t we just move on?  Who the hell in their right mind would ever want to be accountable for anything?


Because you’ll never change. You’ll never grow.  Your past will repeat itself.  You’ll never be anything more than you are right now. 
Sounds harsh doesn’t it? 
It’s an old principle from Anthony Robbins, that if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve gotten.  
 

It’s painful to be wrong. It’s painful to admit that you’re the cause of a problem.  But the human body (and its emotions) is an amazing specimen.  We get scars and the skin grows back tougher, stronger.  Our hearts break and it comes back larger, we stand taller.  We catch a cold and we develop an immunity.  The same holds true with accountability.  It hurts for a minute.  Our confidence is shaken.  We (heaven forbid) feel bad about ourselves.  
 

And then it regrows.  It rebuilds.  We come back more confident.  Less fragile.  Wiser. Stronger.  More empathetic.  And that ever so important public image, that daily captivity of how everyone else is going to view you…shrinks.  Its
grip is not as tight.  
 

Imagine the liberation of walking into that next function that you don’t really want to be at and there are people there that you don’t really want to be around but you go anyway because your boss/spouse/job/social status
require you to, with the feeling that “I’m imperfect and have the brass to admit it, do you?”


Our ability to grow as individuals starts with individual accountability.  Our ability to grow as a family starts with the individuals in that family.  And our ability to grow as a society starts with the individuals in that society.  So the next time you wonder “Why do people keep doing this to me?”, go straight to that mirror you pulled out at the
beginning of the article.  But if you expect something to change because“it wasn’t really my fault, it’ll be
better the next go around by doing exactly what I’ve always done”, don’t be surprised when you end up exactly where you’ve always been.


“Every excuse I ever heard made perfect sense to the person who made it. ”
― Dr. Daniel T. Drubin


Yep.  All that from a baseball game.

]]><![CDATA[Defending Liberty: The Catholic Church vs. The Obama Administration]]>Mon, 28 May 2012 15:26:37 GMThttp://www.familylegalcounseling.com/blog/defending-liberty-the-catholic-church-vs-the-obama-administration“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.  Others can shake you, surprise you,
disappoint you but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation
you’re presented with and moving on. 
No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can
always do something.  You always have a choice and the choice can be power.”  Blaine Lee


This post should be prefaced with the statement that this is not a political argument. 
It is not an arena to debate or further the pro-life movement or the
pro-choice movement.  It is not the endorsement of a political party nor is it the endorsement of a presidential
candidate.  It is however, a post about liberty, about morality, about religion, and about standing up for what
you believe in.  I am not a preacher, I am not an expert on the subject of religion, and I readily admit
that I have my fair share of physical, mental, and moral flaws. 
 

While most have probably heard the story by now,
the Department of Health and Human Services has recently mandated that nearly
all employers are required to offer contraceptives to the employees that they insure. 
With limited and narrow exceptions, this includes Catholic colleges and universities and any other
organization not considered a place of worship. 
The Catholic Church has responded with the filing of lawsuits by forty-three (43) major Catholic Organizations, which includes over a dozen Bishops as well as the University of Notre Dame,
against the Obama Administration.


It should be noted very distinctly that I love this country.  I’m fortunate enough to have lived
overseas for a portion of my life, and with no intended disrespect to anyone
else, I don’t ever want to again. I don’t really have much of a desire to even visit other countries. 
I think it’s a disgrace when the American Flag is not given its proper
respect.  I think it’s lazy and disrespectful not to remove your hat and cover your heart for the National
Anthem.  I firmly believe that I was born in the greatest country on earth.  
 

I also firmly believe that was by the Grace of God.  


That comment can be and probably will be disregarded by many.  But I don’t write it for
dramatic emphasis.  I’ve had a lot of good fortune and undeserved successes in my life. 
I have a wonderful and, for the most part healthy family and support
system.  I have a home, a car, and a job.  To get most of those things
I certainly had to do things on my part.  I had to work, and I had to take chances.  But to be where I am today, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m neither ‘just that good’nor ‘just that lucky’.  I believe that I am greatly helped by
God every day.  And the beauty of our country and our human existence is,
you are free to believe otherwise.  
 

But, back to the issue at hand;

 -         In 1791 the United States ratified the First Amendment to the Constitution stating that
           “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
            prohibiting the free exercise thereof”.  

-         The Catholic Church believes that because life is made by God, we
          must show dignity to all human life, from conception to natural
          birth.

-         The Obama administration has passed a law requiring all employers
          to pay the contraceptive costs of its female employees. 
          Excepted from the mandate are places of worship and organizations that
          primarily serve and employ people of the same faith. 
 
This means that a Catholic school, which teaches its students that
contraception is morally wrong, that is willing to serve students of any faith,
and employs people who are in need of a job regardless of their religious
affiliation, must provide what it condemns.  But wait, says the
government.  We’ll make it right and make someone else foot the bill. 
Try that on your child. 
“Going to church every Sunday is the most important thing…but I’m going
to stay home and watch football while the babysitter takes you. 
But I promise it’s really important.” 
You can’t teach what you can’t follow.  And the United
States government has impeded on the Constitutional rights of Catholics.


To that end, we should be clear on one matter. 
The United States Constitution did not give me, you, or anyone else the freedom of religion. 
It recognized and valued that freedom. Those who were tortured,
jailed, beaten and killed 2,000 years ago by the likes of Diocletian, Decius,
Valerian, and Nero, due to their religious beliefs certainly had a choice.  Those who are tortured, jailed, beaten
and killed today for their religious beliefs have a choice. 
Just because a government won’t recognize that freedom does not take the
freedom from the individual.


It’s often said in the law that the Constitution
is a living document, that it is open to interpretation, and that it evolves as
society evolves.  Even assuming this to be 100% fact…so what?  Does
that mean that the Catholic Church (or any Church for that matter), its beliefs
and its doctrines are open to interpretation, or should
be?  This is 2012, right?  Surely the Catholic Church should catch up to and mold itself to the times. 
Surely since the government says that contraceptives have benefits then that is compelling enough a reason
to breach a religious institution’s freedoms that is recognized by (not providedby) the Constitution. 
My personal preference is to be lead by those that stand by their beliefs in
spite of the majority, than by those that mold their beliefs due to the majority. 
That’s where a foundation comes from.  Where a backbone comes from.


I am a licensed attorney in the State of Tennessee.  I have taken an oath to
support the Constitution of the United States.  But whether you’re a businessman, a
plumber, a bartender, or a lawyer, I believe the majority of Americans can
concede that there are moral obligations that hold precedent over any U.S.
document, that there is a natural moral law that exists independent of the Constitution. 
I am one of them. 
If the current societal interpretation of a living document conflicts with my moral or religious
foundation, my foundation and my backbone will prevail.  
Whether this constitutes an act of treason, or a violation of my oath to
the Bar, I don’t know.  If so, consider me a rebel.


But I know that if we force one religion to do what the government says is right, the rest are not far behind. 
We will eventually be a country of “free religion within these specified boundaries.” The Catholic Church
has chosen to exercise their freedom of religion, regardless of whether that freedom is recognized.  
I am proud to be a rebel standing behind them.

]]><![CDATA[To the Memphis Grizzlies, their Fans, and the City of Memphis: Get Up]]>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:08:58 GMThttp://www.familylegalcounseling.com/blog/to-the-memphis-grizzlies-their-fans-and-the-city-of-memphis-get-upThere may not be enough adjectives to truly
describe last night’s Grizzlies Clippers game from the point of view of a
Grizzlies fan, or player.  The
feeling in FedEx Forum and in the entire city of Memphis is not something I’m
trying to capture, as I’m sure Mr. Calkins will or has expressed the same very
eloquently (I don’t know, because when games like this happen to my teams, I
can’t stand the thought of watching, listening to, or reading the media on the
subject, and therefore have boycotted it since the second Rudy Gay’s jumper came
up short).  However to throw my two
cents in from a personal standpoint I would use
shocking…demoralizing…extraordinary…agonizing…disheartening, and absolutely
heart-breaking.  Maybe the best way
to describe the feeling, (and this is attributed to my father and his
description of witnessing the Cardinals lose game 2 of the World Series on a
blown save in the 9th inning) is the sick feeling in your heart and stomach when your pet dies. 
Am I a grown man too overly invested in my teams and sports outcomes? 
Sure. Is that wrong? 
That answer probably changes with the reader.  But
I have no doubt there are plenty of Memphians on my side of that
debate.


I also have no doubt that many fans didn’t see the end
of the game, whether they went to sleep, changed the channel, assumed the game
was in the bag, or a combination of the three. I certainly watched until the end, but
that doesn’t mean I’m any more innocent than those that didn’t. 
When the fourth quarter started, I started keeping track of the score for
the quarter, thinking that as long as the Clippers don’t outscore us by 21,
we’re up 1-0.  Coincidentally (or in an incredible act of stupidity on my part) I did the same thing at the 2:09
mark of the 2008 National Championship Game between the Memphis Tigers and
Kansas Jayhawks.  I sincerely apologize to the city of Memphis for both events
and promise to never do it again.  But at some point under the 10 minute
mark I decided to get a jumpstart on my Monday, and periodically check the game
that was on in the background.


Maybe our players did the same. 
Maybe the Clippers were just better. 
Maybe the Clippers deserved a miracle.  I don’t know the reason
for the collapse, and to be perfectly honest I don’t care. 
Mr. Hollins is a wonderful coach and I’m sure he can address and correct
that.


My concern is in moving forward.  Is it too much for the players to
handle, to forget about, and to come back from?  I don’t know. 
They’re human beings, and I imagine it would be incredibly hard for any
of us.  On the other hand, they’re
also professionals.  Part of their
job description is to focus on the game in front of you. 
But I think we’ll find out soon enough if “grit and grind” is just a
catchy slogan or an actual way of life for this team, and this city. 



My hope is that this is a team, a city, and a fan base of
faith.  Faith in the
cliché-that-never-makes-anyone-feel-better “everything happens for a
reason”.  Faith that every single
player had to have this happen, for
something that is yet to be determined. 
Faith that this is part of the process, and part of the plan. 
Faith that in order to do something truly incredible, truly
inspirational, and truly amazing, you have to start with nothing…at rock
bottom.  Isn’t it better to
collapse in Game 1 than a Game 7? 
In the Western Conference Finals? 
In the NBA Finals? 
Roll your eyes, laugh, whatever you want, but I believe this team can win the whole
thing.  I still believe. 
Part of our job as fans, as human beings supporting other human beings, is to believe in others to
the extent that our faith, our relentless, unwavering,
others-think-we’re-ignorant faith, overwhelms even those that we’re supporting
so that they have no choice but to have that same faith in themselves.  After all, people have a tendency to
live up to expectations. 



I watch sports because it is my reality television. 
I watch sports because you're witness to things that others would have to
see to believe. 
I watch sports because there is always hope in a dream, no matter how unlikely it seems at the
time. 
I watch sports because every year, we get to watch in awe as some amazing story develops. 
If the Miami Heat win the NBA Championship, it will assuredly be well
deserved.  But you’d be hard
pressed to find many people who found that to be truly amazing. 
Should the Memphis Grizzlies win the NBA Championship (or even get to the
Finals for that matter), we will all, even the non-Memphians, watch in awe as
the story of the heart-broken, rock bottom, historic lead-blowing team,
develops.  It will be our faith,
our team’s faith, and our city’s faith, that took us there. 



If we don’t show up on Wednesday, if the team
doesn’t show up on Wednesday, everyone will understand. 
If we lose the series 4-1 or get swept, people will attribute it to the
emotional damage caused by the shock of Sunday night. 
After all, we’re just Memphis. 
But if we ever want to be champions, we have to learn to get up off the
mat.  As a team, as fans, and as a
city.  To borrow a quote from
Sylvester Stallone and his alter ego Rocky
Balboa:


Let me tell you something you already know.
The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and
I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there
permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But
it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get
hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward.
That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and
get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not
pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or
anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!


We all know the Grizzlies playoff mantra written across the yellow towels. 
And we all know that faith, and keeping faith, is most difficult when
things are at their worst.  I still believe. 
To borrow a quote from Jonathan Cain, Steve Perry and Neal Schon…
Don’t Stop Believing Memphis.

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